If Jesus Christ’s birth is not the center of Christmas for some people, then what is the center of their Christmas?
It’s when I’m required to write a paper that involves my personal life. I just hate it. It’s really more challenging than scientific papers. I hate being required to delve into my past and reflect on it, come up with new insights, blah blah. Maybe it just goes to show how my present is still not at peace with it.
In other words, there’s a Christmas party coming up on Friday (of course, what’s new) and my mom thinks my dad will be iffy about it because of the recent kidnapping in our school. It’s what we talk about all day, seriously. It’s the main topic on lunch and dinner. I don’t care about the party either but I just wish I’ll be the one to say no, not him. I just want a Starbucks drink with no coffee in it and a good freaking movie.
At the moment, Christmas in this household sucks. No Christmas spirit, no Christmas joy. There are a lot of festivities going on outside, and I only had a glimpse of it after the mass. It doesn’t have to be too much, too grand. I imagine sitting on a carpet with Christmas lights all over, normal lights dimmed, sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows or whipped cream, and just talking or laughing or playing. It’s not gonna happen here because the only thing we ever talk about during meals is the recent kidnapping in my school, how the Philippines has no hope, how crime rates go higher during Christmas time because the politicians need money for Christmas gifts, how we shouldn’t go to Christmas parties because they all happen at night time and traffic outside is terrible plus you’ve got a lot of kidnappers outside, too. It sucks.
Not even counting down to Christmas anymore.
I absolutely do not have a life right now. But I like it. I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve come to like it when people don’t bother me about work on weekends. I do like the occasional eat-out on Friday nights. But most Friday nights I’m just sitting at home in front of the laptop, or watching a movie, or reading things for school, and I’m pretty contented that way.
It’s scary because if and when real life comes, I dunno how I’m gonna deal with it. My outer shell has not been fully formed. All theory no practice. Crap.
But then I had realized weeks ago that it all turned out to be good just because of my change of perspective. Nothing changed in the situation, except for me and how I decided to look at things.
Anyway. Okay. There’s definitely some big change in life if you find yourself getting excited for TGIT (Thursday, no class on Friday!) just because you can finally re-watch the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead with some Robin Eggs at hand. I’ve been controlling myself from opening the pack, which we got on sale at some random grocery store. It’s hard to get your hands on some good chocolate here in the Philippines, and it sucks that Whoppers, my favorite-est chocolate ever, is not widely sold here.
So, my point is (forgive my attention span): I got really really excited for tomorrow night because I will be able to watch the episode for the second time around with the best chocolate in the world.
Change is? Before, I used to get excited about road trips, or parties, or eat-outs.
Advice for myself? Get a life.
Based from the look of my left leg, one would think I had been engaging in some extreme sports. That has to count for something, hasn’t it?
Because I just fell. Flat on the pedestrian lane. And this stupid gash on my knee is the hugest I’ve ever had in my life… out of all the physical gashes, I mean. Getting them was normal in grade school, because lunch breaks were spent playing tag. The last time I fell like this was in high school, when I convinced a friend it was safe to ride the bike behind me because I was used to it. And then we both fell. But this is the worst gash out of all the gashes.
You when I pray things wouldn’t happen but they happen anyway? Things like:
- I was praying for a safe day one morning as I was backing out of the road, sandwiched between two cars, and I end up reversing against my neighbor’s brand new BMW.
- I was hoping not to trip because I was holding a box-ful of test tubes with bacteria for my thesis. I trip and end up with the gash. My bacteria are safe. I’m not. Refer to above.
- We were praying that my dad’s cancer won’t return. It comes back.
Don’t get me wrong – I AM NOT BLAMING ANYTHING ON GOD. God is good. Evil is of this earth. God is not of this earth. So if we want to be of heaven, we should strive to be more than of this earth.
I just have bad days, that’s all. :)
Is when I get in front of the laptop screen, on my computer chair, half-naked.
I dunno about you but it is so relaxing. Especially since I come from a tropical country, and it’s usually hot, humid and sweaty outside. I turn on the air-conditioning on full blast and plop down on my chair in my undies and it’s just… THE BEST.
I don’t want to attract any pervs here, though. It’s not like I revealed anything. Half-naked is, at most, a state. Plus, does WordPress cater to pervs? Because if I know, pervs are too impatient to read, right?
Seriously, you should try it.