It was on December 9 when I last blogged, which was around two weeks ago. So it is true – med school does suck the life out of you.
Okay, maybe not life. Just time. Time flies so fast but when I’m studying, it seems as if it would last forever. I have this weird fear that I’m gonna end up stuck with the books for the rest of my life, as if books are the end, not patients, which is why I always feel elated when I get a glimpse of the hospital life. I think I will love my future job. The only thing that sucks about it is that I can’t have the energy and time to do anything else. I always catch up with my best friend from high school simply because she works as a nurse at the hospital. But it will always be months before I see my college friends again, and that can be really tough on me, because it feels unsettling not being with them every day anymore. They are pretty busy with their own lives, most of us have gone to different med schools.
They say med school is just like high school, and I’m starting to think it is partly true. The upperclassmen think they are more superior… simply because they have learned more, they started med earlier, or they’re just generally (but not all!) older. I don’t understand this part, and I have forgotten how catty girls were in my high school back then. It is pretty stupid how they think they are more superior, when the fact that they can’t treat the younger ones with respect defines their maturity level.
I know when I reach the hospital, it will be a lot worse. Residents, consultants, and nurses all look down on medical students. We are practically at the bottom of the food chain. Although most of our professors are caring and feel like family, but the outside of the school (AKA, the hospital) is an entirely different jungle.
I am also thinking of committing to some things for the next year. I want to accomplish something big, bigger than I ever have in my entire life. It could have something to do with my grades, or my writing, or simply about trying something new. I’m also thinking about getting fit once and for all… but I always end up saying that around this time of the year.
The first thing I’m thinking of right now (aside from getting on the tread mill) is to start a blog with my name on it. I’m not gonna post it on my Facebook page or advertise it to the world, but I’m not gonna hide my identity anymore. The blog is just gonna float online, but I will be accountable for what I say, because my name will be plastered on it. I believe it takes great courage to have a face behind a voice online. Hmm.