To sum it up:
- I failed to get my target grade for Neuro. I am not on the running for scholarships next year anymore even if my GPA is still qualified.
- I learned how to extract blood.
- I learned how to do an ENT exam.
- I joined a swimming competition.
It has been a whirlwind week and right now, it’s a Sunday and I’m exhausted. I have yet to go to church because of schedule changes (which I got really frustrated about). I hate it when things don’t go according to plan. I just react first and get overcome by my emotions before I plan out. This is why I was so distressed upon learning about my Neurology grade. Now I’m gonna have to worry about tuition fee for next year. Again. When I thought I was on the running.
I’m done with this crisis for now, but I struggled with it and wrestled with my thoughts to God. I also kind of wasted prayer and fasting week, which happened this week, too, because I spent it ignoring the messages thrown my way and focusing on how disastrous the situation is. My emotions were too loud, I can’t hear God’s Words anymore.
I chose the word “wrestling” because it really feels like that. I want to learn how to praise God despite the bad things of every day. Of course, there really are remarkable moments in life, but we tend to focus on the little bad things and accumulate them as if they can overthrow our blessings. Plus, it’d be nice if I spent more time thinking about solutions than complaining or worrying.
Anyway, I was almost about to doze off for Clinical Pathology that day during the lecture, when the doctor told us to go up to the labs. When we got there, the syringes, tourniquets, cotton balls, and alcohol bottles were laid out for us. It was like a burst of adrenaline. I didn’t want to try at first, but when I found out there were practically unlimited syringes, I had to. I did it on a good friend who had manly, visible veins, so I guess that was beginner’s luck. I saw him freak out momentarily when I left the syringe in place to get some cotton, since everyone was bustling around. My audience was laughing at me. I am seriously not gonna do that in the future. Forgive me, my friend.
The tutorial on ENT exam was also nerve-wracking, since there were long metal instruments on the table when we first came in, a light on a stand, and a mirror to reflect the light so you can view your patient’s mouth, throat, tonsils, nasal cavity, even the things behind your nose and the ones before the esophagus. Good thing our patient was cooperative, but the doctor was shooting questions on us as we were poking all these long, metal instruments inside our patient’s mouth. I answered a lot of questions wrong on my turn. I realized I had a weak spot for when I’m being put on the spot. My nerves get the best of me.
For the swimming competition, we had an inter-medical school sportsfest and our school joined for the first time. Our place was not bad for first-timers, and we only had nine swimmers on our team. It’s a bit embarrassing because I almost always placed last. Our competitors didn’t look at all like med students. They were legit athletes. I joined the team because I liked swimming, and we only had one pro. We struggled during training, but I knew I would enjoy it because of that – we struggled together. I actually forgot there was a competition, and freaked out about it a week before upon realizing it was nearing. It was a great experience, though, even if I’m still sore and tired and lacking lots of sleep right now.